


if we got each other (and that's all we have)

by flustraaa



Series: the one where Alec has a secret [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: (almost husbands my bad), Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Angst and Fluff, Assassin Alec Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/ Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Engaged Malec, Heavy Angst, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Sad Magnus Bane, Soft Husbands, They love each other, powercouple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 17:39:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19361569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flustraaa/pseuds/flustraaa
Summary: alec has a secret, and magnus is over it.





	if we got each other (and that's all we have)

**Author's Note:**

> thought of this at work + wrote it during my break.

Alec shuffles around the closet for what feels like ages before his hands land on his black hooded jacket. He lets out a sigh, tightening his thigh holster, before turning around to come face to face with his fiancé.

He doesn’t jump, only tightens his cloak around himself, letting out a startled huff, “ _Magnus_ , my love. I thought you were asleep.”

“Where are you going?” His lover asks, arms crossed over his chest.

“ _Out_?” He hums, striding down the corridor to the living room, halting at the doorframe when he feels Magnus body approaching within inches of his own.

Alec’s shoulders slump at the nagging presence and he turns, “Is there a problem with that?

Alec travels to stand before the window, glancing out with hands clasped behind his back.

“Alexander?” Magnus asks, and cracks in his voice make something deep from within alec ache crestfallenly, “Please. We’re getting _married_ , I just want an explanation—“

“Magnus,” Alec drones, tone lacking emotion, “You know I only want to keep you safe—“

“ _Bullshit_ ,” Magnus hisses, and Alec turns to him, careful to conceal what lies beneath his jacket, cocking his head in question. Magnus trudged on, expression both boiling and broken, “If you loved me you wouldn’t hide these things from me.”

“Magnus I—“ Alec reaches to cup Magnus’ face, but his fiancé moves out of his reach, turning around, “Of course, I love you.”

“How do I know?” He breathes hoarsely, voice crackling with the onslaught of tears, “How do I know you love me when you leave me every night after I’ve fallen asleep?”

“You know?” Alec rasps, and Magnus nods, wrapping his arms around himself.

“I’ve known for a while,” Magnus susurrates, walking to sit down on the couch.

“You help me remember how to feel,” Alec states as a matter of fact, voice blunt, “You’re the first person not of family I’ve loved. And you’re the _last_.”

Magnus finally lifts his head to look at Alec, aurous eyes swimming with emotion.

“Then tell me, darling,” Magnus pleads, “What’s going on in that pretty little head? The beautiful mind I fell in love with?”

Alec pauses for a moment, breaking his own cerulean gaze from the love of his life, before he reaches for his boots.

“Are you staying?” There’s a hope in Magnus’ tone, and Alec doesn’t want to be the one to get rid of it.

But he’s never felt the kind of fear he feels right now. The terror that fills his veins at the thought of losing his heart for a final time.

“Alec?” Magnus murmurs, “Talk to me.”

Alec pulls the dagger from his heel of his boot, soon followed by the duel blades from his ankles straps. He drops them on the table with a clatter, moving up two is twin thigh holsters, slipping the curved hell blade down besides the other knives. He pulls the arrows from his flat quiver and the bow, dropping it on the table before meeting Magnus’ gaze.

“I’m an assassin,” Alec says, voice strained, “I have been my whole life.”

Magnus gapes, before managing out, “You... you _kill_ people?”

“Think of me more as a bounty hunter. I only accept deals that are just. Rapists and abusers, my purpose is justice and justice only, Magnus. It’s quick, painless, more mercy than these people deserve,” He says, and he can’t fight the stupid tears that well in his eyes at his next words, “If you don’t.... want to be with me anymore I—“

But he’s overwhelmed by Magnus weight wrapped around him, pressing his own body against the wall, face buried in the crook of Alec’s neck.

“I’m sorry for keep this from you I just don’t want you to be in danger—“ Alec starts, wrapping his arms around Magnus.

“Promise me,” Magnus starts, voice gentle and apologetic, “That you won’t leave me. _Promise me_ you’ll be _safe_.”

They both know he can’t, but that doesn’t mean he won’t. 

“I....” Alec closes his eyes, pressing his lips to his fiancés forehead, “I promise you, my love. I will _always_ come back home.”

And they stand like that, until Alec tells him that dawn is approaching to soon for him to stay any longer.

And with prayers in Magnus’ heart, he allows his fiancé to disappear into the night. 


End file.
